"A bright and engaging romantic comedy."-- Calgary Herald

David Trimble & Karen Johnson-Diamond in the Lunchbox Theatre production of My Narrator. 2006. Photo by Lorraine Hjalte


  Lacy has a narrator in her head. A voice that tells her what choices to make in her day to day life. In this scene, Lacy meets Miles for the very first time.
Barb: Lacy Graham always found the city an exciting place in which to spend time.
(Lacy enters. She browses through the shirts on the rack.)
The hustle and bustle on the sidewalks, the sound of car horns and sirens filling the morning air, storefronts displaying every imaginable manner of merchandise from the finest silk scarves to exotic food items. Yes, Lacy loved to come into the city. Her small house in the country became lonely after a while and a trip to the city every couple of weeks seemed a perfect antidote. On this particular day Lacy was on a mission. Today she was going to buy a man's shirt. An artist, Lacy always wore men's shirts when she painted. She liked the loose fit, and the feeling of freedom they gave her. She also felt that every time she wiped a paint-stained hand on the shirt, she was putting a smudge on every piece of crap man she had ever dated. Every man that had caused her heartache and misery. You see, Lacy hadn't had much luck with men in her young life. Probably because she always gravitated to the wrong sort of man. In fact, she had been hurt and disappointed by the opposite sex so many times that Lacy had finally given up on men completely.
(Miles enters. Miles works at the clothing store.)
Miles: Good morning.
Lacy: Oh. Good morning.
Miles: Can I help you with anything?
Barb: Lacy didn't need help. She had purchased many shirts in the past and knew exactly what she was looking for.
Lacy: No, thank you. I'm fine.
Miles: Are you looking for a shirt?
Barb: A stupid question. Lacy was, after all, standing at the shirt rack.
Lacy: Yes, I am.
Miles: Is it for a boyfriend? Your father?
Lacy: No, it's for me.
Miles: Oh. All right. What colour are you looking for?
Barb: Lacy always wore white shirts when she painted. They were like a blank canvas to her.
Lacy: White.
Miles: Hm-hmm. Well, we have plenty of white shirts over in formal wear I think.
Lacy: No, here's one here.
Miles: Oh. What do you know about that? Sorry. It's my first day on the job. I don't quite know where everything is yet. Hey, I just realized something. You're my first customer.
Lacy: Uh-huh.
Miles: That means I'll remember you.
Lacy: I beg your pardon?
Miles: They say you always remember your first one. Customer I mean. Your first customer.
Lacy: Right.
Miles: I'm Miles.
Lacy: Lacy.
Miles: Hi.
Lacy: Hi.
Miles: So, you don't need any help?
Lacy: Not right now, thanks.
Miles: Because if you don't make a purchase then you won't really be my first customer, will you? You'll be my first lost sale. My first dismal failure at my new job.
Lacy: Yes, I guess I will be.
Miles: Does that mean you're not buying it?
Lacy: I haven't decided.
Miles: Oh.
Barb: Lacy thought about leaving. She wasn't in the mood to be harassed by a gung-ho clothing salesman.
Miles: Yeah, first day in my new career. This is my uncle's store. He hired me because I was out of work. I don't know what it is. I can't seem to hold a job. I mean, I try. I give it a hundred percent. Do the best job I can. But it never seems to be good enough.
Lacy: (Pointing off.) Shouldn't you be helping those other customers?
Miles: No, they're fine. Yeah, I've done everything. I was a dog-walker, a headstone salesman, a hot tub salesman, an engraver. I lost that job because I couldn't spell betrothed. And so here I am. Selling men's clothing. No way I can screw this up, right? I mean, I wear the stuff every day. I must know something about it. And what do you do?
Lacy: I'm an artist.
Miles: An artist?
Lacy: Yes.
Miles: Lemme guess. Sculptures, right?
Lacy: No.
Miles: Pottery?
Lacy: No.
Miles: Performance art?
Lacy: No.
Miles: Graphic arts?
Lacy: No.
Miles: Quilting?
Lacy: No.
Miles: Well, what else is there?
Lacy: Painting.
Miles: Painting! Of course! So, you're a painter?
Lacy: That's right.
Miles: Wow. I'm impressed. I'm totally impressed.
Lacy: Thank you.
Miles: I've done some painting myself. Well, garages mainly. I painted my uncle's garage. He said I had to or he wouldn't give me this job.
copyright 2006 Norm Foster