"It's pure Foster magic." --Kitchener-Waterloo Record

Amy Sellors, Geoffrey Tyler and George Masswohl in the Lighthouse Festival production of Sitting Pretty. 2005


Sam Thorn is 'Sailor Sam', the host of a hit children's television show, and he has a beautiful fiancée. Then his world begins to fall apart. His television show is canceled and his fiancée breaks off their engagement. As a result, Sam sets off in search of the meaning to his life.


In this scene, Sam discusses his fate with Julianne. Julianne is in love with Sam, but Sam doesn't realize it.
Julianne: Hi Sam.
Sam: Oh, hi Julianne. (To the audience.) That's Julianne. We've known each other for years. We went to university together and became really good friends. And then I went out west to look for work and she moved out there two weeks later. Got an apartment in the same building as me in fact. And then after a couple of years I came back here, and two weeks later she moved back. Into the same complex oddly enough. What are the chances? And then when Wanda and I got engaged, Julianne threw us a big engagement party. Wanda got really sick on some shellfish though. Funny nobody else did. Just her bad luck I guess.
Julianne: Oh, Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam.
Sam: What's wrong, Julianne?
Julianne: I just heard you got canceled.
Sam: Where'd you hear that?
Julianne: It was in the newspaper.
Sam: The newspaper?
Julianne: Yes. 'Sailor Sam Sunk'.
Sam: That was the headline?
Julianne: No, that was my own. So, whatever will you do now?
Sam: I don't know.
Julianne: How will you survive? Let's think. You could move in with me. I could help you through the emotional crisis. I mean, being canceled, it's gotta make you feel unwanted. Unloved. Worthless. I could offset that.
Sam: Well, thanks, Julianne, but being canceled isn't the worst news.
Julianne: There's worse news?
Sam: Yes. Wanda broke off our engagement.
Julianne: Oh, no. And what's the worse news?
Sam: That's it. Wanda left me.
Julianne: Oh, you poor dear. You poor, pathetic little puppy. Come. Let me hold you.
(Julianne holds out her arms and Sam moves to her. She hugs him.)
Sam: Thanks. So, anyway…
(Sam tries to break the hug but Julianne holds onto him.)
So, I…
(Sam tries to break the hug again but Julianne holds onto him.)
Thanks, Julianne.
(Sam breaks the hug finally.)
That's very nice of you.
Julianne: My pleasure.
Sam: So, anyway, I have some decisions to make now.
Julianne: I should say you do. Would you like chicken or pot roast for dinner tonight?
Sam: What?
Julianne: I am going to cook you a sumptuous meal to help you forget your troubles.
Sam: No, you don't have to do that.
Julianne: No, I insist.
Sam: No, really..
Julianne: No. I insist.
Sam: Oh. All right. Gosh, Julianne, you are such a good friend.
Julianne: Oh, no. Don't think of me as a friend, Sam. Think of me as someone you can lean on. Or lie on.
Sam: Rely on?
Julianne: That too.
Sam: Well, what I need right now is time to reflect. Maybe I should just go away. Leave all of this behind for a while. Maybe what I'm looking for isn't here at all. Maybe it's somewhere else.
Julianne: Where?
Sam: I don't know. Maybe that's what I have to find out.
Julianne: You won't leave without saying goodbye, will you?
Sam: No, of course not.
Julianne: And without leaving a forwarding address where a person could find you?
Sam: No. I'll do all of that.

Good, because it is so expensive to track someone down using a private detective.

Copyright 2005 Norm Foster