"Foster shows dark side--and it's funny too!" -Kitchener Waterloo Record.


Stephen Guy-McGrath and Patricia Yeatman in Theatre On The Grand's production of Small Time. 2000

 

  Small Time is a black comedy about five people in search of satisfaction. It contains sex, violence, romance and lounge singing. In the following scene, Angela Krauss and Cookie Tucker are meeting for one of their thrice-weekly trysts.
   
  Lights up on a motel room. Angela Krauss enters followed by Cookie Tucker. Angela and Cookie are both in their forties. Angela is wearing a slip. Cookie's shirt is undone. He is getting dressed, doing up his pants. Cookie is irritated.
   
Cookie: Tommy Vermont?
Angela: That's what he said.
Cookie: Tommy that shit Vermont??
Angela: That's what he said.
(Cookie exits to the bathroom but returns instantly once again. Angela doesn't give him a chance to speak this time. Throughout the remainder of the scene, Angela is trying her best to get Cookie back into bed. Mostly by trying to undress him.)
Look, Cookie, I'm only telling you what Herman told me. Now, will you come back to bed?
Cookie: But, how could he do that? How could he move Tommy that shit Vermont up over me? I don't get that.
Angela: Well, Tommy's loyal.
Cookie: He's what?
Angela: He's loyal. Herman says that Tommy is very loyal to him.
Cookie: What loyal? I'm loyal. I've been loyal to Herman for seventeen years. Doesn't that count for anything?
Angela: Cookie, you're sleeping with me. His wife.
Cookie: Well, he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that. I mean, if he knew that, then sure, then I could see it, but this. This is a slap in the face. How am I supposed to obtain any respect in the field when the clientele sees Herman promoting Tommy that shit Vermont over me? Huh? How?
Angela: I don't know.
Cookie: How?
Angela: I don't know.
Cookie: Well, would you respect me if you were in their place?
Angela: Honey, as long as you keep delivering the goods, you'll have every ounce of my respect. Now, come back to bed.
Cookie: No, I can't.
Angela: Oh, come on.
Cookie: No, I'm too distraught. I'd be of no use.
Angela: Oh, I'll bet I could do something about that.
Cookie: No, you saw how fast it turtled when you told me. You should've told me after the sex. Why would you tell me right then? It's like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Angela: Well, come over here and I'll blow it back up for you.
Cookie: No, forget it.
Angela: Cookie...
Cookie: Forget it.
Angela: So, I drove all the way out here for nothing. Is that what you're saying?
Cookie: That's what I'm saying. I can't believe this. Tommy that shit Vermont! (Exits to the bathroom.)
Angela: Cookie, you're frustrating me and you know how I hate to be frustrated.
Cookie: (Enters from the bathroom.) And that's another thing. That's another thing. Whenever we get together, you go home happy, right?
Angela: Usually.
Cookie: Right. So, that's something else I'm doing for Herman. I'm keeping peace in his household.
Angela: You're what?
Cookie: I am. I'm keeping you happy, which in turn makes him happy. And that is just one of the hundreds of things I do for that man on a daily basis that he is completely unaware of.
Angela: Somehow I don't think Herman would see it that way.
Cookie: That's why I'm being overlooked, you know? Tommy that shit Vermont is always telling Herman how he did this and how he did that and how he'll do whatever Herman tells him to. Me, I just go about my work. I do my job quietly and efficiently. Tommy's an ass-kisser.
Angela: Right now I'd settle for that.
Cookie: Oh, that's funny, Angela. At this precise moment, with what I'm going through, that is whimsical beyond belief!
copyright 2000 Norm Foster

 

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